Absconding...

No..This is not what I wanted in life...but shit happens....as I can express it best in words...wrote the fucking thing down...can do nothing else...

As I walk on red crumpled leaves, I think of what like has done to make me happy.

And I find no light on the horizon. The laughs I had seem so distant. The smiles are hard to recollect.

The home I go to is home no more. The warmth & the need to go to the place I call home is lost.

Your calls don't excite me any more  Your messages don't bring that smile no more. My arms are tired waiting for your hug & my lips are dry without your touch.

That caring touch of care is gone, the new one is as fake as snow. Yeah , she's no more, but her soul protects me. The motherly love is no more but her smile is all I need.

The father whose finger I had held when I was small, has shrugged off my hand completely. Tell me, what have I done, to deserve this treatment from thee. I still have that hope, that you will realize how wrong you are. I'm still waiting for that comforting call from you to me.

All these things affect me inside, but outside I'm strong, showing I don't care. But I know it pains when it pinches.

A Little Something...

Sometimes...All you need is a hug...A tight one...

When your soul is ready to give up…and you never knew how deep it hurts…

Call that someone special…look in her eyes and ask for a hug so tight…

That the pain flows away…your eyes start to sway…Your heart asks to pray…

When you know that the world hurts…and you’ve felt the deepest of vices…

Call that someone special…look in her eyes and ask for a hug so tight…

For it’ll be the ultimate power…will make love an’ heaven come down in a blissful shower…

When you have a pain…when you're crying away with nothing to gain…

Call that someone special…look in her eyes and ask for a hug so tight…

That your world is in those arms…and your mind, body and soul yearns for that charm…

When you are missing those days…when nothing felt disdain…

Call that someone special…look in her eyes and ask for a hug so tight…

That the memories come floating…and you feel that same magic enchanting…

When you falling in an abyss…and no one is there to pull you up…

Call that someone special…look in her eyes and ask for a hug so tight…

As if it’s the only thing you need…and your life is more than happy to have that feel…

The Pineapple Effect…

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I remember this particular effect from a post I had read earlier on Facebook…and I just experienced this same effect a few days back in my college…

Okay it happened that me and a couple of my friends were walking (Won’t reveal their names for the sake of integrity…Theirs and this blog’s.) thru the corridor of our college library. And we were as usual on the lookout of ‘birds’ as we call them…a little respite for the sore eyes working on bloodsucking submissions day and night…when suddenly one of my friend pointed out to me…a bird…yeah…she was not that good...but in our college whatever we get to see is like a bonus…so anyways we were feasting our eyes walking out of the library…I didn't catch the face…so like a trio of hunters we turned back to get a closer look…We caught a glimpse and we stood there waiting to see what comes next…

She comes near and stands next to us with her friend…our ears popping out to hear what she says…and when the 1^st words come out of her…

Daaaammmmnnnnnn ….its screeeeech and dhadam dhud dahd…the same ways cars crash in movies….The voice she speaks is hoarse…and with the u-can’t-place-which-village accent English…it’s all going southwards in your fantasy world…You try to go back to the time when you were happy just to stay away look at her…but no…it doesn’t happen…This my friend is the pineapple effect…U just got pineappled..!!!

We 3 gave each other a look…and got the hell out of there…it was too much to take for any of us…hoping that next time we won’t fall into this trap…hoping…All we could do…!

He Comes…He Blesses…He Departs…!

I’m not a religious kind of a guy…not at all!!! But I have a special connection with this guy call Ganpati Bappa…! Man…he’s like the coolest guy around the lords…Never seems to amaze me how people hav a casual approach with Ganpati…they kinda fear Him...But more so ever they are on very friendly terms with Him…

In Pune (or Poona as I prefer to call it) Ganesh Festival is celebrated at whole new high…it’s like a huge gathering for people belonging to all the races and creeds…But outsiders can feel a little bit out of place if they don’t know what going on in here…I had a friend from New Delhi who had just come to stay here in Poona during the festival…he had some pretty interesting things which I noted down…I had to place some ground rules b4 him in order for him to understand what’s going on…

•         People randomly shouting “Ganpati Bappa Morya” on the streets is very normal. U’ll be given complimentary Prasad if u join them in shouting
•          People can randomly start dancing in the streets just out of nowhere- With music or without music…its very normal…Again…complimentary Prasad if u join them plus a shirt full of sweat…
•          Those huge pots you see on the road with “Nirmalya” are not kept for beautification…it hav got an actual purpose…
•          Eating outside is a boon…U’ll find an amazing number of temporary shacks which dish out some amazing items…Talking about hygiene is not appreciated here…
•          If you have a bag or a big wallet…chances are it will be most likely that u’ll return home without it…Its plump time for pickpockets..!!!
•          Walking will be the best option of transport…your long drive will be reduced to nothing but a petrol wasting outing…
•          Day or Night doesn’t matter…The music will be on 24x7.
•          No…our streets are not red…it’s just the gulal…Without it there’s no Ganpati Festival…Sorry…
•          04.00am is probably the best time to visit the Dagduseth Ganpati…All other time u’ll just be able to see people…not the Ganpati…
•          Yeah…We make huge Pandals and show random stories in loop for the whole day…U’re not supposed to laugh at the mannequins…I know they look funny…But No..!!
•          Drunk people are to be considered as normal people only…They are just enjoying the festival…
•          Enjoy it…you have no other option..!

He gradually understood all these rules…And as it turned out…he enjoyed a lot…I would love to hear from any of you if u know any more of these “Rules”…;)

Hope even you enjoy this festival as much as possible…Be safe…

Adios..!!

The Disillusion of Happ’y’ness

They named the movie wrong…Yeah…they fucking named it bloody wrong..!! You can never ever pursue happiness…it just runs away into some dark place where u can’t see anything…and then after some time it shows us some good flashes just to get us exited. But then it’s the same old story…It all goes down the drain…

I’ve never truly craved for happiness until this moment…I’m 21 years old and yes…I crave for happiness for the 1^st time in my life…is that wrong? Many people would say yes. Most of the adults that is…I hardly care… I laugh...I smile…I do stupid things…inside its totally different…there’s no storm or as such…there that eerie calm u get when u enter some haunted house types..?!? Maybe…yeah…I don’t deserve happiness but then I don’t remember doing anything which will push me into darkness as well…so what is it…

I’m a strong believer of karma…maybe this is my karma then…maybe…this a huge bundle of cockshit over me, which hangs precariously ready to surprise me…Yes karma…I want you to surprise me…not with the cockshit though, but with a little helping of happ’y’ness…!

The Fear…

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As I write this I see no reason why should I reveal this side of mine on public internet…I mean most of the people whom I know tend to keep their personal life to themselves…they hardly let anyone venture into the depth of their emotions or manners…but then…I even know that someone out there…some random person who will read this will somehow understand that what I go thru…that random person will feel each and every word that I write…

I’m facing a particular fear that I’m all alone in this world with the one and only genuine feeling that I have. Sometimes it becomes so frustrating that I have that immediate urge to go and punch someone out of sheer desperation…its controllable...Yeah…but it doesn’t seem to appropriate to give it much of a thought that time…I fear losing my sanity to loneliness… I don’t know if I’m falling short of handing any relationship in a good way…I had this very good friend of mine who was very close to me…one day he got a girlfriend and he changed…and then the mutual feelings just departed…I felt the same way with many other people…

My not being bright in academics or my straight forwardness…or then is it my messed up family problems! What is feeding my fear of being alone…?

The Other Life...

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Sometimes I wonder to myself that what if I would have not taken up engineering? In fact I really regret this decision day in and day out…but I’ve taken it in my hand and I hav no intention of dropping it without completing it now. It’s a tough nut to crack but I’m gonna do it no matter what. But still as I said…there are times when I think that what else? If not an engineer then what?

There are various things which inspire me to think about this what else…a few examples as below…

1] Indian Idol…

I’m a regular singer or vocalist whatever u wanna call it…I was in a band…and searching for a better band…so singing comes to me naturally…but whenever I see this particular reality show, it makes me think more and more about being a singer…maybe it’s the glamour or maybe the appreciation. But I really fall into the trap of the idea of turning into a singer whenever I see this show…!

2] Master Chef Australia…

This is arguably  one of my favorite reality shows I’ve come across…this show is so so amazing and the food they cook is so freakingly beautiful that I can’t help but imagine myself cooking in the fab kitchen that they hav using all the sophisticated instruments and appliances. Just wow… and when I try to cook here in India using the same recipe…it turns out to be quite the same but I bet visually u’ll prefer to eat your own barf…

3] WWE…

Now this might seem a little weird to you but yeah…fighting too inspires me a lot…a look at their 6 pack abs and huge triceps and biceps makes me feel that “Y can’t I have a that kinda bod man!!!”. And the storylines and everything that happens in the wwe is fake but still its fun to be in it and enjoy beating up other ppl... I mean who doesn’t love hitting other ppl…and the icing on the cake is that u get paid to do that!!!

4] Dance India Dance…

Wow…this show freaks me out… the kids and all dancing like crazy in thins show leaves u spellbound…the huge stage and the fun with the anchors…u can’t help but imagine youself dancing there with ppl all over the country watching you and you enjoying every last bit of attention! I would love to be there…

5] Game of Thrones…

Now this fantasy series based in the Middle Ages would seem like a piece of cake for those who don’t know anything about it. But just imagine calling yourself a lord…the head of a glorious house…u give names to your swords…u fight ruthlessly with inferior enemies…you drink wine and feast lavishly…It seems a good life to live, aint it…!

6] How I Met Your Mother…

Who wouldn’t love to live in the big apple…with a bar just below ur apartment and loads of action…with an awesome bro who is ur wingman too…a cute couple who act as ur Mom-Dad…and a female hottie TV reporter friend who smokes Cuban cigars and is a fan of premium scotch…Tat is life aint it? Y can’t I have such a life??? Y??

Well these are just some of them…TV plays a huge part in my life…And it’s my job to imagine stuff…And I enjoy it…!!!